Lemons Into Lemonade

Left to right: Bros. Melvin and Birkeland, Bishop Lemon, Bro. McDonald

Last week our bishopric got released. In the past when that has happened, it has been moderately sad to me, but never that big of a deal. This time, it's quite different. Though there are silver linings, the truth is that I'm pretty devastated about the change. I was quite a mess last week, but this week I'm beginning to feel the effects of the transition, for better and for worse. I have to keep reassuring myself that God's hand is in this and that I'd best get used to it. In time, I'm confident that will happen, but for now, it hurts and I feel the loss.

We've known that this was coming for two weeks before the release happened because the stake presidency told us in sacrament. I appreciate the warning, but I did feel a bit ripped off at the same time. Our ward conference was pushed back to this week from it's original date in June, and there were indications that they would use that occasion for the change, so I felt like we got slightly ripped off when they announced the release would come the week before. Of course, they hadn't intentionally given that impression, but it was still a let-down.

In the lead-up to the release, there were a few moments of note. The first came when I ran into Jeremy, the RS secretary who's been in the ward about a year, at the Provo Rocks concert for June. We ended up talking through a lot of that, and in discussing the upcoming change, Jeremy said that it wouldn't be that big of a deal to her because she doesn't know the bishopric all that well. I don't have particularly more reason to know the bishopric, except for the fact that I attend ward council which helps, but I have still developed a real attachment to them. Mostly it has been forged by small interactions at various functions over time. Her comment made me very grateful that I've had the chance to know them all quite well and to come to love them each.

The week before they got released, I saw Bishop's office being moved out when I went to Institute on Wednesday. That was quite a jarring experience. Bishop Lemon's mother is Liz Lemon Swindle and he runs an art business attached to her studio. In his office, Bishop has had several beautiful, large paintings of Christ hanging along with other homey touches like a big ficus tree and a collection of religious books (Bishop is an avid reader).

During AFY, we used all the offices of bishops in the stake for various groups, so I had the chance to look into a bunch of them, and all of them were extremely spartan and lacking personality compared with Bishop Lemon's. It emphasized to me one of the things that sets Bishop Lemon apart, that he consistently does what is necessary to make others feel safe and at home. How much easier it is to be your truest self in a warm atmosphere that reflects the stable and welcoming personality of the other person you are talking with! Seeing that all the things that created that environment were being carted out, leaving the familiar spartan space, was depressing. I wanted to offer to help, but I was too weak to do so. Instead, I just left and cried on my way home. It was the first tangible harbinger of change, and I wasn't prepared emotionally to handle it.

The next day was ward visits night. I already had a plan to go see a girl that was in the ward who's grandpa I had heard recently passed away. She happened to be a neighbor of the Lemons. I'd been thinking of Sister Lemon that week quite a bit as their oldest child, Travus, entered the MTC on Wednesday. I knew the timing of that along with the release would likely be tough on them, so I wanted to see how Sister Lemon was holding up. When I got to the house, I was pleased to find that my friend Shantell, who recently moved to a new ward in the stake, was also there. We all talked about various things for a bit, through the ins and outs of a number of other people (the Lemons' house always has a lot of traffic thanks to all their kids, extended family, friends, etc.), until Shantell had to leave.

I then asked Sister Lemon how she was doing with Travus being gone. She admitted it was a tough week with all the change and had been emotionally taxing already, but that there had been a number of tender mercies along the way already to ease the way. She told me the story of dropping Travus off and showed me a big blown up image of Travus getting out at the MTC her mother-in-law had already made for her. While I was there, Sister Lemon also got a text from a friend that works in the MTC with a picture and story about how she'd run into Travus that day and letting her know that he was made a zone leader. It was good to see that the Lord was actively working to support and lift this poor family already.

I'd shown up reasonably late (after 8) since I'd been doing other visits earlier, so I was still there when Bishop came home. He said that he'd just finished a three-hour debriefing with the new bishop and had also just done his last interview with a ward member. That threatened to set me off, as doing long stretches of interviews has been another of Bishop's hallmarks, but I managed to hold it together. It brought to my mind the multiple occasions I've had the chance to counsel with him in interviews, almost always from his instigation rather than mine, sometimes about ward business and other times just about my life. He's always been very concerned about even the details of things, though he doesn't step on toes too much in doing so. That is another distinguishing characteristic of Bishop Lemon, he is always thinking about the people he serves and is willing to act on the promptings he may receive on their behalf. It's pretty shocking the number of people in the ward who have had Bishop Lemon reach out to them individually, either in a visit or an interview, often both and more than once.

We talked about the upcoming changes as well as other matters for a while until they were ready to put the younger kids to bed so they could go hang out at the Birkelands' house (the Lemons and Birkelands are very tight). It was late, and I was fully prepared to leave them in peace, but they asked me to join them for scriptures and prayer with their kids, so I did. I felt like an interloper, of course, because that is my nature, but I appreciated the chance to witness some of the workings of a dedicated, though imperfect, family striving to live the gospel.

It was really nice to spend some time with their family. I have refrained from going there over the years, though I would have liked to, because I've been protective of their family time. Bishop Lemon has stayed so busy in our ward, that I didn't want his poor wife and kids to deal with any extra divided attention if I could help it. Now I'm less concerned about that, though I'm sure one or the other of them will have a demanding calling again soon. After the sadness the night before, it was great to go home the next night feeling uplifted, even in the face of the future, rather than depressed.

Even so, that Sunday was hard. I'd been clinging to the fact that I had at least one last ward council and talk from Bishop Lemon to look forward to, but it was pretty rough knowing in the midst of those things that it was the final time I'd experience them that way. During ward council, Bishop told us that Bro. McDonald was being called as a high counselor in our stake and that Bro. Birkeland would be staying on as second counselor in our ward. This was very exciting news, especially to know that Bro. Birkeland would still be just as involved in the ward, if not more. Bishop made a few comments about how he's appreciated the chance to associate with us all, and he handled our reading section for the week from Teaching in the Savior's Way with only slightly less than his usual aplomb, but I could sense from him even then just how very tired he was. It felt every normal little task or discussion was being drawn from him with greater effort than ever before.

Immediately after, we were doing a musical number practice for the day in the chapel. This had been in the works ever since we found out the actual release date. Our RS president, Cassidy, had asked all of what she termed as "Bishop Lemon's favorite people" to come sing for that. This included a number of people who have gotten married in past months or, like Shantell, have moved out of the ward. I felt like I didn't qualify on the favorites list all that well, but was certainly willing to participate anyway, though I told her at the time that I wasn't sure how well I'd be able to sing on the occasion.

The music we were doing was an arrangement of "Come Thou Fount," which is Bishop's favorite hymn. I'd already done some crying in ward council, and while we were practicing this hymn, the words combined with the weight of the day made it so that I choked up and couldn't sing. I needed to get a receipt to Bro. Melvin, our ward clerk, so I headed for the clerks office right after the practice. Bro. Melvin was there talking to Bishop Lemon and a man I knew was likely the new bishop, so I was just kind of waiting outside for them to finish.

Bishop Lemon noticed that I was standing out there and he must have seen that I was in a tender state, because he asked how I was in his penetrating way, to which I could only reply after a beat that I'd been better. It was less than 10 minutes before Sacrament was set to start, but he still asked if I needed to talk. I assured him that I was doing okay and really just came to give Bro. Melvin a receipt. He still looked concerned, but accepted this answer. Both he and the presumptive new bishop moved back into his office and I made my way in to talk to Bro. Melvin. It was a small thing, but it was significant to me that Bishop Lemon was prepared to drop other concerns even though he was surely exhausted in many ways and in what was literally his last working moments in the calling to try to help me.

After giving Bro. Melvin the receipt, I gave him a hug and assured him that I would really miss him. I was pleased to hear from him that he'd been sticking around for at least awhile with an audit and other concerns approaching, so I was delighted with that news as well. I think there are not many who appreciate just how important Bro. Melvin is in the ward and how well he fulfills his calling.  He's a very chatty, personable fellow when you take time to get to know him, but he understands his role well, only speaking once in awhile in meetings to bring up really important details that have been missed and offering insight that can be highly useful. When he occasionally goes out of town, things seem to kind of run off the rails a bit. Bro. Melvin helps to keep everyone, especially the bishopric, on track. Though few really appreciate the vital role he plays and what a fine person he is, it is clear to me, and I will be sad to see him go when the time comes. Thankfully, I won't have to face that for awhile, it seems.

Sacrament was pretty rough. They did the official release during the business section, and that was the most difficult. For the sake of the new bishopric, I did my best to hold it together, though I don't think I succeeded all that well. My visiting teacher and friend, Julie happened to be sitting by me and I appreciated her quiet support through it. During the sacrament itself, I was certainly still pretty affected, though I was able to bring myself under control a bit more by the end of it. Bishop Lemon spoke first, reading the passage about David and Jonathan's friendship and describing how his heart had been knit unto ours such that he couldn't tell where his started and ours ended. I appreciated his thoughts, but they were unusually short and subdued for him. It felt like a combo of his own weariness and also a desire to not overpower the meeting. I think he pretty clearly didn't want to outshine his successor, Bishop Roudabush.

Sister Lemon spoke next and talked about how her family has been blessed by associating with the ward and also shared some scriptures and thoughts about how the Lord has great plans in store for us all in the future. I thought she was quite superb. Sister Lemon is one of the most reliably positive people I know, and it is virtually impossible to go away from hearing from or talking to her without feeling noticeably uplifted. She always conveys the feeling that life truly is good and that God can be absolutely trusted. I've been blessed by both her kindness and wisdom both first-hand and through reports from others many times.

Bros. McDonald and Birkeland made some remarks as well afterwards. I was pleased that both made a point to praise Bro. Melvin. They both expressed gratitude for the chance to serve and to continue to serve in their new respective roles. I'm glad we'll still get to see Bro. McDonald around periodically. He has a lot to offer as someone who isn't that far removed from being a single young (and later fairly old) adult. He's also always good for a lightening of the mood when it's needed.

Bro. Birkeland staying in his role has also been an endless source of comfort to me. I really feel that his remaining has been a tender mercy from the Lord to us all. It will help keep needed continuity in a lot of ways. He's also a person that it's simply easy to love. He really cares about people and isn't afraid to show it. He also has a steady temperament that is easy to trust and is willing to do whatever is needed.

After they spoke, it was time to sing. I was pleased that when it came to it, I was able to hold things together and sing the full time, perhaps not at my very best, but at least passably. We'd had some rough practices along the way, but I think things sounded pretty good in the end, thankfully. I was avoiding making any sort of eye contact with people, especially Bishop Lemon, for fear of getting emotional, but from the side-long glance I had of him while staring at the director, I think he appreciated the intended gesture for him. Sister Roudabush spoke today and mentioned that "Come Thou Fount" is also her favorite hymn, and that our singing it last week helped to make her feel welcome, so that was a good thing too.

Bishop Roudabush spoke next. It's clear that his personality is very different from Bishop Lemon's, but there are many good things he brings to the table as well. Bro. Evans, the new first counselor was next. His talk was actually the longest of them all. He also seems like a very good man, and I was encouraged by the fact that he talked quite a bit about his love for the temple. I think he'll be a good ally in our Temple Committee efforts moving forward.

Right after ward council, Bro. McDonald had asked if I would give the closing prayer for sacrament. I felt the responsibility of that, but with the Lord's help, when the moment came, I was equal to it. It was a moment where the words to pray were pretty directly given to me. I was grateful for the opportunity to contribute to an important meeting. Giving the prayer also gave me the chance to be the first to welcome Bishop Roudabush and Bro. Evans and to give Bro. Birkeland a hug, so that was a nice perk.

Last week, I had the occasion to interact with Bishop Roudabush and Bro. Evans a few times as they participated in several service activities we had going on. I was pleased to see how eagerly they have dived into involvement in the ward. I also heard that they both went on visits this week and have been working hard to get to know people. All I've seen bodes well for the future. I think they are trying to learn quickly and to build on the good foundation we already have. I believe that they will both make a valuable contribution to the ward, and I'm pleased to have them with us.

That said, as I attended meetings this morning, I sorely missed Bishop Lemon. Bros. Birkeland and Melvin were able to keep things pretty well on track for ward council on the business side, but there was a distinct loss of fluidity to everything. That is only to be expected when people are just trying to adjust, but it was still noticeable. Even when he wasn't conducting, Bishop Lemon always had his hand on the reins and would often bee-line past certain items in order to focus on other issues he wanted to discuss more in depth. Bishop Roudabush was pretty content to let Bro. Evans, who was conducting, handle things right down the agenda.

What made me miss Bishop Lemon most, however, was when we got to the Teaching in the Savior's Way training section we do each week. With Bishop Lemon, we would read through the material with Bishop stopping periodically to make some kind of insightful commentary on certain phrases or ideas. He would also ask specific people to respond to the included questions and then build on what they said. When the suggested scripture readings came up, he would select one of the passages and dig into it deeply, offering thought-provoking interpretations that would illuminate the verses in new ways. I would always look forward to any opportunity to hear Bishop Lemon teach, because he has a great gift for it borne of years of careful study, in-depth thinking, and inspiration.

This week, it was totally different. Especially at first, things kind of floundered through the training. I could feel that it wasn't going very well, so when thoughts were asked for, I was quick to volunteer something to liven the discussion.  Eventually, a few others started to pitch in a bit as well. By the end, the discussion was moving along pretty smoothly, but I still found it to be somewhat lacking. Basically, I was filling in Bishop Lemon's normal role, but not doing it nearly as well as he would have done. I sorely missed him, and I'm sure many of the others did as well. Still, though he has left a hole that can't truly be filled, I'm sure that the unique talents and gifts offered by our new leadership will come to bear more fully in time and things will get better.

I'm working hard to stay positive, but the truth is that this transition has been rough on me and will probably continue to be so. Much of that is because I've become very attached to Bishop Lemon. Largely, that is because he has made a profound impact on my life. To me, his greatest success was that he consistently extended practical invitations to deepen discipleship and come unto the Savior. As I've responded to those powerful invitations, large and small, I've seen the Spirit enter my life in unprecedented ways and my very nature has changed.

The most clear examples of that have been in various invitations he extended that helped me form more meaningful relationships. Inherently, I'm a pretty introverted person, content to do my own thing and leave others to do the same. Yet, when Bishop Lemon asked us all to attend ward visits, I knew immediately it was something I needed to do. I had gained a testimony of visiting people in their homes as a missionary, but had largely fallen out of the practice since returning home. As I started attending visits every week, however, some lessons that I'd forgotten came flooding back to me, and I learned many new things to boot. It's an amazing phenomenon how regularly visiting people can broaden your perspective, deepen both your compassion and gratitude, and expand your vision. Going on visits every week has allowed me to get to know a ton of people I would have never known otherwise, and I've had the great joy of seeing a number that I've worked with return to activity. Being an instrument in the Lord's hands is a great blessing I'm forever grateful for and don't plan to surrender again.

Bishop asked the ward council for another related item about 6 months ago. He asked us all to sit by someone who was alone in sacrament. My personal preference before sacrament is to read some sort of religious book, either the scriptures or something else gospel related, keeping my communication to a bare minimum just to sort of greet those who sit near me. I also prefer being in the chapel pretty early and sitting near the front middle, all of which was my own way of preparing quietly for the sacrament. For awhile before Bishop brought it up, though, I'd had a nagging thought that I should probably change up my routine, but I justified myself in my ways because I was typically sitting near several people that needed more friends or outreach. Still, though I would engage with them a bit, I was content to keep it minimal.

When Bishop made his request, I could clearly see that it was merely a confirmation of what I should have already been doing had I listened to the Spirit better. It required me to jettison most of my personal preferences. Now, I usually have to wait in the foyer until near the start of the meeting because most people show up barely on time or even late. I often end up sitting near the back of the chapel on one of the sides, and I never get any reading done because I am talking to someone new in any spare time before and often after the meeting. Realizing that this was something I should have long been doing on my own, I took the hint and extended the habit to the other meetings as well. So now, if I am not focused on someone from visits that I brought to church, I am typically meeting at least 3 new people every week.

I've long thought that I was pretty good at keeping the Sabbath Day holy, but it's been quite surprising just how much difference talking to various strangers has made in my Sabbath observance. I think much of that boils down to the great blessings the Lord has poured out simply because I was willing to sacrifice my own ways in favor of His. The results have certainly greatly enriched my life, and I'm grateful that Bishop Lemon was inspired to extend the invitation.

It's been quite shocking just how often Bishop Lemon has had inspiration that paralleled my own. Another good example of that was the first ward temple day we did. I had a good experience doing some progressive temple work one Saturday to prepare some names for endowments that I could send to Marinda on her mission as a birthday gift. That made me think that completing all the work for a family name successively would be a valuable experience, but the idea ended up on the back-burner for awhile.

A few months later, I was talking to Bro. Melvin after a late stake meeting for family history when Bishop finished early with one of his last interviews of the night. Bro. Melvin had something to run by Bishop briefly, and invited me to come join in Bishop's office while Bishop Lemon worked on eating his very late dinner. I figured I better capitalize on this chance meeting and dove right in with my assessment that while we did most things very well as a ward, our biggest oversight as an organization was that we weren't effectively encouraging temple attendance. The most glaring indication of this was that we pretty rarely held any sort of ward temple function, and what few ward temple sessions we did weren't very well advertised or attended. I suggested that a regular schedule for a ward temple night was needed, and Bishop agreed. Right then, we got settled that we'd do a ward session the first Tuesday night of each month.

I was very pleased by this ready action plan established with so little prompting. The conversation progressed on to other temple topics, and we had a good discussion about the new movies. The main takeaway was that the second movie is Bishop's favorite and that he doesn't like the third one very much.

A few months later, we had the ward temple nights up and running successfully to great effect, in my opinion, when Bishop informed me that he envisioned us doing an all-day temple day. It so perfectly coincided with what I'd personally felt drawn to earlier that year that I was immediately on-board. Bishop outlined what he wanted, then left me to work out the details. It required a lot of work on my part, but it was a wonderful experience for me and for many others as well, I believe.

Just a couple months ago, Bishop called me in to meet with him again. He told me that he felt that we need to make a larger push toward temple work in the ward, but wasn't sure what it should look like and asked if I would ponder upon how to fill in the details. It so happened that over Christmas, I attended a ward that was doing a stake youth initiative to baptize a stake. I liked the idea of doing the work for the dead of a similar size to those in our living unit on this side of the veil. I mentioned this concept of doing all the work for the same number of people as are on our roles to Bishop Lemon a few weeks after meeting with him, and he liked the sound of it. I'm still working on filling in the details and getting organized properly, because I think this will be a pretty major undertaking again, but I'm optimistic about what we will accomplish on that score in the future.

In many ways, I've found Bishop Lemon to be a valuable partner to me in the saving of souls, including my own. I'm really going to miss his energy and vision at work in the ward. In many ways, he created a ward culture that was conducive to bringing out the best in everyone, including myself. Now, my task is do my utmost to keep that culture alive and well. I'm optimistic about the future, but also very grateful for the past few years I've had in the ward. No matter what happens, I have learned many things that I will carry with me.