Receiving Joy from the Temple Challenge

So the 18th finally arrived, the big day. We were scheduled to meet up at 9:00 AM, but I decided to be early so I could have the names I'd prepared made into cards early to remove another hurtle I'd have to jump later. So at 8:45 I ran in and got my names printed, where I met Amy from my ward who was just finishing getting her names printed. Amy is one of my favorite people here, so it was nice to see her first thing and have a moment to greet her properly.


After all the names were printed, we went out to meet at our designated gathering spot at the flag pole. A few people, including the bishopric, were already there, and more came over the next couple minutes. As a note, I have attended every ward temple night since I've been in the ward and the most people I've seen attend in the last year was 7. By the time 9:00 rolled around we had close to 20. I was pleased to see that we were already getting better attendance than usual, and I was confident that more would show up at some point during the day, especially since I'd seen a sheet that had been passed around the Sunday before indicating that a good number were planning to arrive at 10:00 or later.

I'd asked a few people who indicated they had a bunch of family names to bring those along so we could fill in any necessary gaps and only have people doing family names. Most of our people only had one or a couple names, so I was able to supplement them with those extras as well as some of my own names. After squaring people away with names, we got a couple pictures then headed in.

I had previously tried to arrange for our ward to have an appointment for the baptistry, but was told that no ward appointments were available on Saturdays. The set up for Saturdays now only includes walk-ins for half the day and then family appointments later in the day. I was told that we would be best off just going in as walk-ins, but I was still somewhat nervous about that plan. In the end, the arrangement did cause us delay, but I was incredibly unstressed by it. I'd done all I could to prepare well in advance, and though I'd met with some dead ends along the way, my resolution was to not allow any bumps in the process detract from my enjoyment of the day, though I still expected a degree of organized chaos. Miraculously, that never really materialized, though we did have some waiting.

Fortunately, the workers in the baptistry were kind enough to allow us to go in together as a group, but it did mean that we had to wait for about and hour for enough lockers to become free for all of us. That time wasn't wasted, however, as I think everyone enjoyed having some time to relax and enjoy eachother's company in the lobby area. It also turned out pretty well as about 10 more ward members were able to join us during the waiting phase, so we ended up having more of the ward together when we actually got in to the baptistry.

After we all got dressed, we were grouped together in the baptistry chapel to await our turn to go to the font. I ended up sitting next to our Relief Society President and enjoyed getting to know her better during that time. She recently took out her endowments, and it was fun to talk about what the temple means to her and how her understanding is evolving thanks to her more regular temple attendance.

After waiting about another 45 minutes, we were able to go into the font area. Our ward essentially took up the entire bench space, and it was a delight to see. I was the second-to-last person in the group, so I was blessed to get to see almost everyone baptized. The experience of waiting was all the more poignant to me because I knew a good portion of the names, both from people I'd aided members to find and also because some of them were the ones I'd prepared. I felt a real joy as I watched each vicariously receive the blessings of baptism. Appropriately, our Ward Mission Leader baptized the first half of the ward, after which he was baptized and then replaced by the Bishop. It seemed so appropriate to me that those two should be the ones helping to usher both the ward members and their ancestors to Christ.

Fortunately, the wait to be confirmed was much shorter. Bishop Lemon was the voice for conferring the Holy Ghost. I periodically do baptisms and confirmations for a group of family names, and indeed had been in that baptistry only a bit more than a month before, but it's been a long time since I've done proxy work with people I knew in attendance and helping to administer. While there are good things about sharing in those experiences with strangers and feeling a closeness to them despite not knowing them, it is different when you are with people you know well. I was glad to have the experience again after such a long time.

After finishing up in the baptistry, we all headed to the cafeteria for lunch. From what I heard, it sounded like everyone was having a good experience, but I didn't have a lot of time to listen much as I needed to scarf my food pretty quickly to keep up with everyone else.

Next we headed upstairs for initiatories. I saw a couple more new people there, which was nice. I also ended up in the same booth as a couple other women in the ward, That was fun in a way as I've never been in a booth at the same time as people I know. I must have had more names than the others, because by the end, I was left with a couple strangers. This concerned me a little since there was no formal plan for how we were going to do endowment and I figured people would just get in the next one after they were finished. Being in a session without any ward members wasn't the end of the world, but as long as people were there, I preferred to do stuff with them.

While I was waiting for another patron to move out of a compartment, the temple worker in my compartment asked if I was the one who had prepared the names, which I acknowledged. She told me that the Temple President had recently told them that in the past family names composed only about 3% of the work done there with temple file constituting the rest. However, in the last year that has completely reversed. Now about 80% of the work done in that temple is family names with only 20% coming from temple file.

That's an encouraging statistic and indicates the major shift toward family history that is going on in the church. That idea was borne out by my own experience in the baptistry last month, where I was delighted to see that virtually all the youth and the recent convert couple who were there at the same time as me had family names. Back when I was in youth, it was pretty rare to see young men or women performing work for family names. I only did it a few times myself. I'm pleased to see that from their earliest temple experiences, youth are now encouraged to dive into family history and they seem to be rising to the challenge.

So when I finished with initiatory, it was about 10 minutes before I was supposed to meet Dad and Grandma in the foyer. They had wanted to attend a session that day, so based on my estimates of when we would get done with different steps, I told them to come at 2:30 so we could be ready for the 3:00 session. I had no idea what was going on with the ward members at the time, but figured that at the very least, I would enjoy a session with my family.

By the time I got dressed and into the foyer, it was almost 2:30. After a few minutes, I began to be a little antsy wondering if they had gotten my message about when to meet or had been unexpectedly delayed or something. I was starting to think through how I should proceed it they didn't arrive within 30 minutes or so as it would have been a shame to miss both my ward and my family. Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about it much because I soon heard Dad talking at the recommend desk, though I couldn't see him.

Dad and Grandma came in quickly and we were all dressed and ready before long. I'd given Grandma one of the names I'd been working on, and while waiting for her to get dressed, I was pleased to see that a couple ward members at least were also still in the dressing room. That reassured me that I might get to attend a session with some people from the ward, at least. It turned out my fears of being left behind were completely unfounded, as I discovered that the whole ward was waiting for stragglers when we finally got up to the chapel. I was amazed that this complicated plan and lack of plan had actually worked out perfectly in the end! It was certainly a miracle for me in its own right.

Around 30 members of the ward were still there to attend the session, and it was quite wonderful to know so many. In fact, I personally knew about half of the people attending the session. So on one side I was seated next to a sister in my ward and on the other next to my grandma. That was quite a wonderful thing for me. There really is a difference when you know the people you serve in the temple with. My general benevolence towards those in attendance at the temple was heightened my knowing them well enough to understand their personalities, strengths, and struggles to a greater degree than when I serve with strangers.

In the Celestial Room, I talked to Dad and one of the members of my ward about some of the significance found in the interior design. I also talked to Dad about the significance of left and right I have recently spent a deal of time thinking about in my temple visits. I believe that anytime the right is referred to in the gospel, it relates to God and anytime the left is referenced, it refers to our fellow men, or at times, the world of men. While I've already pondered and found sufficient evidence to satisfy me that this is a significant idea with enlightening implications, I'm still working on further expounding upon the concept. There are doubtless a lot of scriptures and other inspired references I want to test the idea upon in addition to hashing out more of the temple applications

Next, I proceeded on with Dad and Grandma to do the sealings I'd prepared. It seems like most of the ward left after the session, which wasn't the original plan, but there was still a group of about 6 that followed soon after us to also do sealings. I would have liked to have stayed with them, but the three of us ended up getting sorted in with a group that had arrived previously and I decided it wasn't worth causing a hassle over, especially since Dad and Grandma were supposed to go to an activity before too long.

The sealing portion was also very nice. It was fun to be part of a three generation unit, which for me reemphasized the progressive and eternal linking of family generations inherent in doing family history. One of the other ladies who was also in our group also had family names, and between us we were able to supply enough for everyone to do work without using any temple file names. That's the first time I've ever been in a sealing session where no temple file was used, actually, and it was quite cool. It turned out that the lady and her husband as well as the sealer were from up in Idaho, so there was some comparison of Idaho notes after we finished of course. In all it was a very lovely experience, despite the fact that none of my ward members were there.

Once we finished, Dad and Grandma had to run off to their activity and I decided to go spend a bit of personal time in the Celestial Room, as I hadn't really had that opportunity yet. After I'd been in there for awhile, the group of my ward members who had done sealings came back in as well. It was nice to be reunited with some of the ward again for a bit. They left after awhile to go home as they had now completed all the ordinances they'd planned. Because there was never a formal plan for the day, I wasn't sure if other ward members were still around or not, but decided that I would do another session at any rate.

When I got up to the chapel, I didn't see any of the members of my ward, though I did see that the second counselor in our stake presidency was there, probably because it was a live session. I decided that I might as well wait for the next session as I was in no rush and was hoping to catch people in the ward. As the next session rolled around, I still saw no one that I knew and kept waiting, with a bit of a sinking heart. It became clear to me at that point that probably everyone else had left awhile ago and I was doubtless going to have to finish off on my own.

There was only one regular session left after which there would be a special session for another ward. The temple workers told me I could get into that one if I wanted, but after thinking it through, I decided there wasn't much point in my waiting for that one. I kept my waiting position in the back until about 10 minutes before the session holding on to hope that maybe someone would show up. I can't entirely explain why, since I almost always do sessions completely on my own, but that night I just really had a wish to finish off with someone from my ward. I knew it wasn't really that big a deal if no one came, but there was an unspoken prayer in my heart that I wouldn't be alone that night.

Eventually, I decided to stop waiting and simply take my place to get in on the last normal session. After a few more minutes, they began do have people file out to be seated in the ordinance room. When my turn came, I happened to look back and immediately saw that my friend Amy was in the last row, no doubt having just arrived. I was both surprised and delighted to see my secret hope fulfilled even after I thought the chances had been extinguished. I quickly moved aside so that I could wait to go in with her.

The session was of course very good, and I not only learned several good things, but also felt a happy sense of the Lord's awareness of me and His tender mercy. In the Celestial Room, I asked Amy what she had learned that day and she started to relate to me some of the things she'd seen and felt during the day. I learned that she had actually left the temple in the middle of the day to attend an expo with her sister, who needed some support, so she'd missed the initiatory phase and the ward session. She'd come back to do the initiatories on her own and then had happened to end up in that last regular session to finish her day.

We talked about a lot of different things, mostly centered around how the gospel and the blessings of the temple specifically refine us individually and in turn, transform our lives and the way we view the world around us. My back was to where they entered, but it turned out that the final ward session came and mostly left while we were talking, so finally we made our way down to the dressing room to get ready to leave. As we folded our clothes, we kept talking.

I can't really explain how it came up, but Amy mentioned how many missionaries start off on their missions worrying that they will say or do something or not say or do something that would negatively impact an investigator's eternal progression. That kind of concern can be completely paralyzing, but the truth of the matter that most missionaries come to realize is that the Lord won't punish people for our mistakes or missed opportunities in the long-run. That's not to say that there are no consequences to our actions or inactions, but rather that the Lord in His mercy to us all won't allow happenstance to prevent any of us for the blessings we desire and righteously seek from Him.

Amy then went on to relate this to our lives after the mission, noting that the Lord will likewise continually extend opportunities to us in His mercy as we strive for righteousness. He won't punish us or deny us blessings because we missed certain chances we perhaps should have better utilized. Instead, He will provide us all the opportunities needed for us to become and perform better.

As she was talking about this, I pretty quickly became almost entirely silent. I could personally identify with her mission example as it was something that I gained a personal testimony of on my mission. Truly, it was the most perfect analogy that could have been given for me as the mission has always been a strong identifier in my life. As she continued, I realized that I was hearing the voice of the Lord directly through her at that moment. I didn't know where she was going with her comments, but I knew through the Spirit that they were directly meant for me and that I needed to pay attention.

As she talked about opportunities, I clearly saw that I was being provided a direct answer to many of the thoughts and fears that have long plagued me. While I have hardly admitted it even to myself, I realized that I have long been weighted down by the belief that I have squandered the opportunities the Lord has provided me and that due to my poor judgement and many mistakes I was going to have to suffer for an almost interminable period with the consequences of my failures. As Amy talked, I could feel that hidden weight being lifted from me. That even as she had come in the exact moment that I needed her, when I most thought that there was no hope left, the Lord can and will provide a path for me in spite of my many failings.

As if that incredibly personal revelation wasn't enough, Amy went on to answer another of my most regular and personal prayers. The truth is I don't remember exactly what she said, but what I heard was that the Lord is pleased with my efforts and that I am on the path that He would have me be on. That I am more than just acceptable to Him and that He loves and values me for the paltry offerings I have tried to give Him. I can't say for sure, but I think Amy said something very close to that. She could never have known what I needed to hear, but the Lord did, and He used her as a mouthpiece at that moment. As she talked, I struggled, but had a strength beyond myself to retain my composure. It wasn't that I was worried about her seeing the affect her words were having on me, but rather that I didn't want her to break off delivering what I needed to hear that night out of concern for my disarray.

The dressing room only had one temple worker left in it when we quickly dashed off to get dressed and exit at last. Our talk continued as we walked out. There were only a couple cars left in the parking lot when we exited, and Amy was parked in the back of the lot, so I walked her to her car and then she drove me to mine. Finally, it was time to go our separate ways, and I drove away from the temple at 11:15, almost overwhelmed by the many events, revelations, and emotions of the day. As I dragged myself into bed at home, I felt completely exhausted in every sense of the word, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I went to sleep immediately and slept like a rock until morning.

Because I had precious little time to really process the day previously, my mind was fully caught up in it through the meeting the next day. I felt like I was in a different place than usual before the sacrament was passed, but as we sang the sacrament hymn, I basically became entirely unhinged. I couldn't sing at all from working hard to stifle my crying. The hymn powerfully reminded me of the incredible price that was paid in the Savior's atonement and I felt an overwhelming outpouring of the love from both the Father and the Son that it demonstrated.

It didn't help that as the sacrament was passed I remembered a comment Amy had made the night before that she would be thinking about the ward dressed in white surrounding the font and engaged in saving ordinances during the sacrament that day. That image came back into my mind as well and I was overflowing with gratitude for the incredible ordinances and covenants that have become available not just to me, but to everyone through Christ's atonement and grace.

I was still pretty weepy through the first two talks and kept my head firmly down to try to cover it, but just as I was starting to recover myself, it turned out that someone had picked "How Great Thou Art" for the rest hymn and I was totally derailed again. Fortunately, I was able to get decent control of myself by the end of sacrament, so I hope that my discomposure went largely unnoticed.

The week before, I had been asked by the High Counselor in the stake over family history to prepare a little presentation about what we had done for the benefit of our monthly meeting of all the folks in the stake involved with family history or temple work. I hadn't had time to work on that really, so after taking Dad to the airport, I quickly threw together a Powerpoint presentation of a few slides about what we had done.

The meeting went pretty smashingly well. There weren't a ton of people there, but I think those who attended caught some of the vision of what we did and the excitement of it. Many were interested in doing something similar in their own ward. I did emphasize that it took a lot of work, though I tried to downplay exactly how much. I figured it might scare people off the idea if they knew how many hours had to be dedicated to pulling it off. It wasn't official at that meeting, but I'd been asked at the same time I was asked to do the presentation if I would serve as the new Family History Center Director for the stake. It's a calling I feel pretty unqualified for, but I made it clear that my passion for the work far exceeds my knowledge in family history, so they presumably knew what they were getting into before I was sustained!

I hinted that I would do anything necessary to help further the endeavor in other wards without explicitly stating that I would have a stake jurisdiction to do so before long. From all we talked about that day and from further conversations later, I believe that I will do a fair amount of assisting other wards in doing their own temple challenge. It's even been suggested to have the same presentation given at one of the stake meetings for all the bishops, but we'll see if that actually pans out. For now, I'm hoping to at least have the opportunity to share the idea with some ward councils and help them get organized a bit and provide them some additional support. I'm excited to see how the momentum will keep rolling through the stake!

At Stake Conference on Sunday, I was also pleased to hear that we won't be letting the spiritual tide ebb entirely in our ward either. Bishop and Sister Lemon happened to sit in the row behind me and while we were waiting for the meeting to begin, Bishop mentioned that he is planning to make a similar temple activity at least a quarterly occasion, which I agreed would be valuable. It would give more people that couldn't attend on the 18th the opportunity to participate. I would hope we could recruit more interest from those who only have limited-use recommends in the future as well, as there weren't all that many who fit into that category this time. Fortunately, since a lot more people are trained on how to do the family history now, it shouldn't require nearly as much time to get people prepared in the future.

All the way around, I was blessed with some amazing experiences. The truth is, I'm pretty sure that I got much more out of the whole series of events than anyone else did. I witnessed and participated in many miracles all along the way. My deep involvement allowed me to be much more influenced not just from seeing the fruits of my own research, but also in recognizing the fruits of the faith and work of so many of the others in attendance. To top it all off, I was blessed immeasurably by powerful and unexpected direct answers to the prayers of my heart. It was an incredible reward that I never expected and felt quite overwhelmed by. If I have learned anything in the last year, it is that the more deeply and completely we immerse ourselves in the gospel, the more completely the Lord will pour blessings down upon our heads to such an extent that we can't contain it all. While I've known this to an extent for a long time, I'm coming to understand it more perfectly through a more complete level of personal experience. I can feel the Lord refining me into a more perfect tool in His hands, and it is an exhilarating feeling. I can't wait to see what other plans He has in store for me!